I think he works at Cluck-U, with Tupac

One lunchlady to another in crazy Hispanic accent while holding Dane Cook "Employee of the Month" movie poster: Oh my gaaaaaahhhh! He looks goooooood. I could do with him right now...employee of the month? Where he work?!

-North Campus Diner

Overheard by: Tina

Seven Rounds is the Limit

Girl A: How can her pigtails look that perfect after 5 rounds of sex?
Girl B: She must have a whole kit in her purse... a hair brush, makeup, condoms...
Girl C: Plan B...

Overheard by Melissa

This Roommate Situation Is Working out Great

Guy #1: My roommate pissed me off so much. He was having sex while I was wide awake, so I kicked the top bunk.
Guy #2: Ew
Guy #3 a few spots back in line: Actually we didn't go all the way that night.

In the Jalepeno Grill Line

-overheard by napoleon

Maybe He's a Jew for Jesus...

A Presbyterian, Mormon, Indian, and Jew are in the elevator discussing Bible study...

Presbyterian (to Jew): Yea, you can come. You can read the Old Testament. Just don't bring your Jew book!

--Hagerstown Elevator


Overheard by: Tina

In other news, a shipment of lettuce just came in

Guy: Forty percent of the spinach supply is contaminated!
Girl: I bet you didn't even know we had a spinach supply.

outside of Chipotle

overheard by Napoleon and Joe W

Aren't they one and the same?

Girl: Isn't that called sodomy? Or is that when you shit on someone?

-outside of north campus diner

overheard by Tracey

Someone Skipped His Geometry Class

Douchebag: She was a triangle man! I'm talking T and A.

-Ellicott Quad

Overheard by: j-po

SEGA's Sonic vs. Nintendo's Super Mario

Guy 1: Yeah, but Super Mario had the princess...
Guy 2: I'd rather fuck the squirrel than that square-ass bitch!

the path along Byrd Stadium


-overheard by Thomas

That will solve everything

Girl to her friend: Remember? Remember? I need a baby!


South Campus Diner

-overheard by Napoleon